You know that saying ... "With friends like these, who needs enemies ?"
I was thinking about that yesterday when I was cleaning out the computer ... spam and its like .. like old emails from people who were once on a friendly basis .. who called themselves my friends .. until they weren't.
One had a nice life, husband , house proud as all get out and 2 kids. One good and one a troublesome type.
Over the years I heard the stories of how one made something of her life, left home and went as far as she could from the parents and brother ..
I have not looked in a long time but I am sure she made something of herself ..
The boy .. a problem .. spoiled .. troubles with drugs and the law and parents who spoiled him then couldn't understand why he was such a problem.
Of course, one day I suggested something in response to yet another sad email .. the something I suggested was Common Sense, not personal or insensitive .. it was sent with affection and hope to make her feel better.
Her response was bitter, hateful and obviously, she was not the friend I thought she was ...
That was the end of her.
Then there were the two people who were all over me for years, how exciting to live in Argentina ! People want to know you !
Then we came back from Buenos Aires, my husband died suddenly, "friends" were all over me/emails daily with advice ( much of it very much appreciated ) and much of it just a pat on the back or a virtual hand to hold .. considering I lived all alone in a country setting with only a couple of neighbors to know if I was still alive ! Emails and online pals were a good thing.
But like all people ( I guess, although I have friends still from high school) these "friends" would still write but not as often, which was fine .. but then they just stopped.
I would send a note, checking to see if all was well.
Sometimes an answer, then silence.
Imagine when the one who had spent years crying about her drug addict child .. said she didn't want to hear from me anymore .. I was too sad.
Imagine the surprise when the 2 people who had been there for me all the time, sent me real gifts in the real mail and suddenly .. the she of the two .. sent a really cold email that "they" didn't want to email with me anymore .. apparently .. I was too sad for them, I don't really know, they never even gave me the courtesy of having been friends for years, at least telling me why they were *together* in telling me they no longer wanted to email.
And then there is the girl from New York.
A smart, kind, funny girl .. who just came to my house one day and asked me if she could walk with me when I take my afternoon walk. ( I made a point of taking a long walk up the hill to the farm and petting the horse and talking to the sheep ...I was so very alone ) and now out of nowhere, this young woman asks if she can take a walk with me.
And that is how it started ... we became friends .. She married the son of the man who owns the farm.
She now has babies ..beautiful blue eyed boys ..
I thanked her in the past for this and that .. acknowledged how much her kindness meant to me.
But I need to say it again, whether she reads this or not, let someone else know and hopefully remember how much your small acts of kindness mean.
I will tell you this also ... when I asked about the silence from the two people who I thought were friends, I was told in a snarky, b*tchy way that they just didn't want to hear from me.
No real reason, no real excuse ... just ending years of emails and laughter with a stab in the heart.
I am living in a private community, it is hard to make friends with people here because they go from home to car in garage and out ..the gates close behind us .. no one walks ..
so while I am safe and protected , I am isolated and alone.
My daughter has been a dream daughter, I wish everyone with a daughter that you have one like mine.
So of course, thoughts of returning to where I was happy, where I have friends and family are in my mind all the time now.
We will see what happens .. where Time and Fate lead me ...
I was thinking about that yesterday when I was cleaning out the computer ... spam and its like .. like old emails from people who were once on a friendly basis .. who called themselves my friends .. until they weren't.
One had a nice life, husband , house proud as all get out and 2 kids. One good and one a troublesome type.
Over the years I heard the stories of how one made something of her life, left home and went as far as she could from the parents and brother ..
I have not looked in a long time but I am sure she made something of herself ..
The boy .. a problem .. spoiled .. troubles with drugs and the law and parents who spoiled him then couldn't understand why he was such a problem.
Of course, one day I suggested something in response to yet another sad email .. the something I suggested was Common Sense, not personal or insensitive .. it was sent with affection and hope to make her feel better.
Her response was bitter, hateful and obviously, she was not the friend I thought she was ...
That was the end of her.
Then there were the two people who were all over me for years, how exciting to live in Argentina ! People want to know you !
Then we came back from Buenos Aires, my husband died suddenly, "friends" were all over me/emails daily with advice ( much of it very much appreciated ) and much of it just a pat on the back or a virtual hand to hold .. considering I lived all alone in a country setting with only a couple of neighbors to know if I was still alive ! Emails and online pals were a good thing.
But like all people ( I guess, although I have friends still from high school) these "friends" would still write but not as often, which was fine .. but then they just stopped.
I would send a note, checking to see if all was well.
Sometimes an answer, then silence.
Imagine when the one who had spent years crying about her drug addict child .. said she didn't want to hear from me anymore .. I was too sad.
Imagine the surprise when the 2 people who had been there for me all the time, sent me real gifts in the real mail and suddenly .. the she of the two .. sent a really cold email that "they" didn't want to email with me anymore .. apparently .. I was too sad for them, I don't really know, they never even gave me the courtesy of having been friends for years, at least telling me why they were *together* in telling me they no longer wanted to email.
And then there is the girl from New York.
A smart, kind, funny girl .. who just came to my house one day and asked me if she could walk with me when I take my afternoon walk. ( I made a point of taking a long walk up the hill to the farm and petting the horse and talking to the sheep ...I was so very alone ) and now out of nowhere, this young woman asks if she can take a walk with me.
And that is how it started ... we became friends .. She married the son of the man who owns the farm.
She now has babies ..beautiful blue eyed boys ..
I thanked her in the past for this and that .. acknowledged how much her kindness meant to me.
But I need to say it again, whether she reads this or not, let someone else know and hopefully remember how much your small acts of kindness mean.
I will tell you this also ... when I asked about the silence from the two people who I thought were friends, I was told in a snarky, b*tchy way that they just didn't want to hear from me.
No real reason, no real excuse ... just ending years of emails and laughter with a stab in the heart.
I am living in a private community, it is hard to make friends with people here because they go from home to car in garage and out ..the gates close behind us .. no one walks ..
so while I am safe and protected , I am isolated and alone.
My daughter has been a dream daughter, I wish everyone with a daughter that you have one like mine.
So of course, thoughts of returning to where I was happy, where I have friends and family are in my mind all the time now.
We will see what happens .. where Time and Fate lead me ...